The Maintenance Man and the Mermaid

Once upon a time there was a mermaid who lived in a beautiful historic house in a little town in the Midwest. She enjoyed her sunny abode and found solace from the disappointments of life there. Then she dated a man who maintained her house and missed the peace that once permeated her world. The fairy tale you are about to read chronicles how she found that mesmerizing calm again.

My quote-unquote boyfriend is a constant source of disappointment. He doesn't read my blog, in spite of my giving him the link numerous times, so I can say whatever I want to about him. I can also tell the story about the dates I had in December that didn't work out at all when I was trying so hard to move on. Ugh! Said date has resurfaced again now that the weather is nice. He's the maintenance man where I live. Ugh! Why did I agree to go out with someone I'd have to deal with when it didn't work out?? Ugh! I'm stupid, that's why! But it's a funny story, so listen up and laugh with me!

The dates were "okay" but really only served to highlight the things I really missed about the quote-unquote boyfriend who I get along with so well (in spite of his shortcomings). Maintenance Man (let's call him Jake) is all about the "Me, My, Mine" in conversation. Everything is a contest to prove his is better, bigger, more important, and when it's not, it's self-effacing comments about how he doesn't measure up. (OMG! I have a hundred sentences ending in prepositions already. I'm no English teacher)! So, anyway, when the relationship is obviously not working for me (after a whopping three dates), he gets the hint and quits calling. I'm baffled, because I know he's interested, but also relieved, because I'm not. None of it matters because I'm too busy stressing over the immediate concerns of paying my bills, missing the quote-unquote boyfriend, and why I can't just say goodbye to a relationship that isn't living up to what I want.

Then the weather gets nice. There's lawn to mow. There's spring projects that require him to be here again. UGH! Now I'm being haunted by my poor choices--yet again! (I'm good at poor choices, despite the appearance of intelligence when you meet me). I digress. A few weeks ago, the downstairs tenant put in our request for some sticks to hold up the windows now that it's warm enough to want the windows open. Last week, the maintenance man (we'll call him Jake) calls me to ask how many I need. Duh. How many windows are there in this house you've been maintaining for years? I guess math is not his strong suit. Or, wait. You think he wanted an excuse to call me? He left five sticks after that call, supposedly because he didn't have enough wood (don't even start with the innuendos there), but promised he'd get the rest soon.

Fast forward to yesterday. As I'm leaving for work, I can hear the maintenance man (shall we call him Jake?) and the downstairs tenant talking on her porch that I have to walk by to leave. Great. I was hoping he could just check my entrance window that I can't open on his own. Oh noooo, no he cannot. He hears me coming and I can hear him beelining it to the door to end the conversation and catch me before my escape can happen. Damn, almost.

Him: "Hey, I was just coming up to check that window! You got 10 minutes?"
Me: "No. I'm going to work. Just go ahead and check it."
Him: "Well, I'm gonna be back. You work every night this week?"
Me: "Every night except Wednesday."
Him: "Oh! That's when I was coming back!" (How convenient)!
Me: "Okay. See ya."
Him: "Hey. How many sticks do you still need?"
Me: [Rolling my eyes] "Well, ya gave me five. I still need six."
Him: "Okay. Well, like three short ones and three long ones, right?"
Me: "Whatever you have is fine."

I make my exit, knowing he's watching me leave. The desperate look of him wanting to rekindle something that never lit disgusts me. UGH!

I don't really care about having to deal with him. It's really rather comical. He knows his place again, and it's not in my heart. He's the maintenance man we call Jake. My home is my own, and he just fixes things. Those five months of not seeing him gave me back my privacy. I'm able to laugh about the stupidity of trying to date the guy who fixes the stuff that goes wrong here. Lesson learned. I'm better on my own, and I don't have to feel embarrassed by something that happened (what seems like) ages ago.

The mermaid has a job interview tomorrow and she is happy and calm once again in her haven of sunshine.

The Job Carousel

To make my point (and prove that I am not sitting by idly), let me tell you about my morning.

I scour the want ads in several different places on the web every single day. Last night I was up way too late as usual, and reading the help wanted ads. I watched a 20-minute video on a get rich scheme that promised vacations and a grand lifestyle. I just couldn't buy into that. I did bookmark some other jobs for another perusal this morning. As of 11:30am, Wednesday, May 28, 2008, here are the jobs I applied for:

Assistant Bar Manager--basically an Assistant Food and Beverage Director at a country club. (I've done this)!!

Independent Collection Contractor--"deliver notifications on behalf of collectors for several different companies." No collecting of the debt, just notifying. Serious cash, the ad says. I'm into serious cash.... I wonder if I'd be into serious anger?

Assistant Manager--A construction cleaning company is looking for someone to organize and be a taskmaster. This I could do!

Report Editor--A private investigation company is looking for someone to edit their findings. Sounds juicy. It's probably more akin to editing a dictionary.

See? I'm OUT there! One of those jobs is a 7:30am start, another is probably more than I can handle, and the other two are probably bogus, but if you don't ask, you don't get answers.

I still want to work for the chocolatier. Sadly, she hasn't called me back. It's back to the overstaffed restaurant for another shift, I guess.

I Hate My Job

Maybe I should say I hate my employer. I try very hard not to name the corporation that I work for on this blog. Those who know, please respect that wish in any comment posts. I've worked the foodservice industry for almost 25 years, and I like it. Well, mostly, I like it. This latest stint really has me seething.

First of all, corporate chains are not my gig. I thought I might dislike some of the policy that goes into this kind of restaurant, but as it turns out, I HATE pretty much everything that goes into this kind of restaurant. It doesn't matter if a policy works or not, we have to abide the rule that comes down from headquarters. Things like server check-ins (not really a bad thing) to buddy systems (a very bad thing) that are supposed to make us more efficient so we can schedule less servers, thereby making everyone more money. HA! Last time I checked, we used to have 17 servers on a Saturday, and now we are up to 19 servers on a Saturday. Brilliant. Just brilliant.

Another big disillusion is that I was so excited to work for a restaurant that actually offered up health insurance to a lowly waitress. Well, that's another smoke and mirrors tactic. You see, the open enrollment period is in January. The rules are that you have to get 25 hours a week to qualify. With the gross overstaffing that is required by corporate, nobody gets 25 hours a week. At least not in January when there's barely enough business to keep those who want to work five nights a week at that many nights. I think it's pretty sad that you can drive a 50-mile roundtrip to work five nights a week, make next to nothing so you can fret about making your rent, AND not make the minimum requirement to secure yourself a little bit of piece of mind for your health. That's a trick, boy.

In addition to the corporate bullshit one endures with a restaurant such as this, I have the added bonus of a boss who has no clue about being a manager. The guy has a good heart and is personable, no doubt. However, his scheduling skills are quite lacking, and his organizational skills are nonexistent. I will not even begin to rant about his inability to control his staff. Instead, let me give you a sample workweek.

Wed: 3:15 (Open)
Thurs: 4:45
Fri: 5:30 (Close)
Sat: 4:30 (Close)
Sun: 11:15 (Open and Double Shift)
Mon: 5:30 (Close)
Tues: 4:45

Yes, that's seven in a row. Three closing shifts, in spite of the fact that with 30 servers on staff (four closers needed seven nights a week equaling 28 closing shifts for the week), I get three closing shifts. Can I mention that two of those closing shifts are late weekend closing shifts? Can I point out that after getting home after midnight on Saturday night that I am required to be back for a double shift before noon on a Sunday? Would it be whiny to point out that the Sunday shift netted me $22 and an early cut at 3pm?

I came home and slept. Discouraged? You bet. Sick of making no money? Certainly. Wanting out? Abso-fucking-lute-ly!!

In spite of all of these beefs, I have one that grinds me more than any of these. Oh yes I do... The wonderful world that I work in pays the entire front of house staff next to nothing. Know why? Because the servers have a 3% tipshare taken out of their tips before they get them. That's right, the entire front of house staff gets paid from the chunk that gets taken from my hide. I wouldn't even care if I was making any money. The sad part is that a customer who comes in and thinks leaving his server 15% is doing his part for our bottom line is actually only leaving that server a crappy 12% tip. Of course, I can't explain this to my tables, but I really wish I could. Furthermore, it's come to my attention that a restaurant is not allowed (by federal law) to take more than 15% of what you make for other front of house workers. (They are not allowed to take ANY of what you make for back of house staff, so if you work somewhere that's doing that, get on the phone to a local labor agency)! As it turns out, my restaurant is taking about 20% of what I make. Complaining would be futile since the whole tip issue is such a volatile subject in restaurants. I could see corporate pointing the finger back about how servers don't claim everything they make when they are clearly supposed to claim it all.

I need to get out of this position. And while I am venting like a volcano here, do not think that I have not tried to get out of this restaurant. I am churning out resumes like pamphlets in the doctor's office. I am interviewing, calling, sending emails with resumes attached. I have looked in areas outside of my chosen field and I have chastised myself endlessly for not falling back on my teaching degree. I cannot imagine being tied to a school schedule, and apparently am more content hobbling along on this wage than tying myself to a teaching life.

The saddest part of this disaster I call my career is that the current job is affecting my job interviews. My interview last Thursday started on a bad note. "Tell me your favorite thing about working at xxxxxxx." I'm an honest individual with an up front attitude. I had to tell her that there was nothing I liked about it at this point. Of course, I backed it up with nuggets that she found appalling. I assured her I didn't want this to be a session bashing my current employer, but I haven't heard back from her, and I'm sure this is the reason.

I thought this would be the month I found that job that would fulfill me. Or at least the job that would make my bills not seem like a mountain I have to exert every last muscle in my body to get over the top of every month when they arrive. I really love so much about my life that it's disheartening to feel so fed up with the part that is such a major portion of your daily existence.

I know that it will not always be like this. I'm sure that there are bigger and better things out there for me. I just have to find them. Anybody got a map?

Making the Bed

It happens every time there is a sheet change in my house. The rotund Mrs. Kisses absolutely must help make the bed. It starts when I begin removing the old bedding. She jumps up, looks coyly at me and begins acting like a flirty teenage girl. I pull sheets out from under her and she whines. Then she sashays around on the mattress pad, looking completely satisfied with her fat self. I tell her again and again that I'm making the bed and she is in the way, but she ignores my chastising.

When I start the "fwapping" of opening the sheets across the bed, she rolls on her back and looks happy. As the parachute of cotton lands on her, she whimpers again, but doesn't move. As I tuck the corners in and the sheet forms to her beloved mattress pad, she panics and wants out. Her head pops out from under the last open end, then she runs to the part that is flat and clean on the mattress. We begin it all again on the top sheet. I remind her that I'm trying to make the bed while she plays her tent game with the clean sheets.

When we get to the blanket and comforter that just need to be pulled back up, she watches from the pillow area until I get close to the top. She swishes around, peering under to see if there's room for her to dart underneath before I yank the blankets taut again. As I finish the bed with the pillows, she lies in the middle of the completed project looking like a queen. So self-satisfied!

I wish I had gotten a picture of her sassy self!

If anyone wants a beautiful new baby, let me know. A friend of mine has rescued a batch that will be ready very soon. I think she will even deliver to the area! Go look here: http://shaken-but.blogspot.com

Sweetness

I spent the last two nights acting like I was 16 years old. I don't regret a minute of it, either. So many happy thoughts run through your mind when you meet Johnny Depp, yet the words don't come easily. It's too difficult to sum it all up in mere sentences; the emotion is a little indescribable.

Here's something that did finally settle into my heart as I observed the gracious Mr. Depp with his fans. When he is shaking your hand, he is all yours. His eyes see you, and he hears what you say to him. He is very sincere with his fans, and makes them know that he appreciates them. That's cool all by itself. But there's even more to this gentle man. When he takes your hand to shake it, he instinctively puts his other hand over yours. He really takes in the experience of greeting his fans. When his hands were closed over mine, I looked him in the eye and told him thank you. He replied with, "Ohhh, thank you! It makes a girl want to swoon.

It took me awhile to find the right word to describe him, but here's what I finally got. He imparts you with this calm peace in his presence. Odd how in a frantic five second exchange with hundreds of others waiting to get their own moment, Johnny is able to leave you with such a refreshing peaceful feeling. Wow. He just amazes me.

Without further ado, let me show you my beautiful up close pictures. (The kind folks over at Deppography will probably want that second one in their eyelash thread)!!

Photo Op

That is MY photo. I don't care if anyone takes it, uses it, publishes it. (Well, I do, but....) I took it. It's on my camera. That is Johnny Depp and he was in my town. It makes me smile just thinking about it. The movie Public Enemies kicked off its filming in my little bitty town. What a festive, exhausting week it was! Fun? Yes. Depleting? Oh yes. Chasing film-makers and movie stars is very hard work!

Because I have other things to blog about, I really need to be brief in my sharing of my prize photo (which is a nothing photo in comparison to some I've seen by other lucky fans). Let me assure anyone who has even a little bit of admiration for Johnny Depp that any respect you have for him is well-founded.

Mr. Depp, as he seems delighted to be called, is a wonderful man. He is beautiful on the outside, but he is even more amazing on the inside. He regularly makes time for meet and greets, even after grueling hours of filming. He's done midnight meet and greets because fans were still waiting. He's done early morning meet and greets after long nights of filming. He's greeted fans in cold miserable weather. He is remarkable in his devotion to giving back to the fans who wait patiently for just a glimpse. And he gives them so much more than they ever expected.

Here's the thing I really want to share about my photo. Johnny Depp is a very private man. His body guard, Jerry, comes out to tell the crowd the rules about being respectful several times before Johnny actually appears. I was fortunate enough to be directly across from the driveway where he walked out to the crowd. What I saw when Johnny Depp appeared was a man who is shy, and even a little apprehensive of a large crowd. I also saw a man who was delighted to be loved by so many and seemed eager to allow some photo opportunities. The moment he appeared was magical, and the crowd was hushed. He is very low-key and quiet, but he is very gentle and kind.

Words really don't describe the once-in-a-lifetime thrill of seeing, up close, one of my all-time favorite actors. He is phenomenally good-looking. He is amazingly generous with his time. He is always amiable to standing crowds during filming; waving and smiling, nodding and tipping his 1930's style fedora. How incredible! I have enjoyed Johnny Depp since the Gilbert Grape days and the "Bennie and Joon" movie. (I missed the 21 Jump Street start).

Bottom line: I did not know the true wonder of Hollywood until it came to my neighborhood (literally)! I have newfound respect for all that is behind-the-scenes of movie making. Wow. Just wow. Michael Mann is methodical and seemingly brilliant. I cannot wait for this movie to arrive in July of 2009! Thank you to the scouts who directed the movie here. We are forever grateful to be part of such a wonderful project, in whatever small way we could.

Overheard

I filled up my tank today, got some milk and bananas, and was leaving. The gas station has a PA system whereby they let you know that you are set to pump gas after selecting payment method, grade of fuel, etc. Well, I'm glad it's a nice day and I had the window down because I got to hear the following: "Pump 8, we are having problems with that pump, blah, blah, blah..... I can turn you on right now."

I wonder what the man said when he went in to pay?

I'm remiss in my blog, folks. I had a brush with fame last week. I can't see daylight, but I want to blog about it. Stay tuned....

"What You See is What You Get."

What you see is what you get. Those words came out of Brett Favre's mouth during his farewell press conference. I love that about him. "I thought about wearing a suit, I really did." hehe...that's our QB! Sorry. That was our QB. My tv had a ticker tape running along the bottom with little snippets of information: My favorite was the one that said, "Favre had a lifelong contract with the Packers." Tell me when the last time you heard of a professional athlete having a LIFELONG contract with his team. Man, I can't believe how many tears I've cried over this event. Really, I thought I'd shed a few sentimental tears. I didn't know I would be weeping over sports writers' articles and crying during Brett's farewell press conference and getting choked up watching his Top 10 plays and.... crying now.

And I've been more realistic and accepting of this news since it broke than most of the people I know. Still, hearing it from the man himself brings a finality, a reality. I loved that he got weepy. If he'd have flown up here to announce that he was leaving us without emotion, I would feel ripped off. Had he sauntered in, made his speech, and gone, I would've felt used, like we meant nothing in the scheme of his career...his life. I've never met Brett Favre, but I feel like I know his character. Being true to himself is important. His tears today were important. Non-Packer fans have told me that Brett Favre is a big baby. He's not. He's a real man. He's leaving something he's known his whole life. There will be no football practice, no meetings, no Sunday games. This is huge. This is emotional. I'm so glad he shared that part of retirement with us in his press conference to say goodbye. No wonder he's my hero.

I don't want him to go. I don't. I never want him to go. But I understand why he is going. I am happy for him that he can finally kick back and enjoy a normal life!! He's earned this a thousand times over, given the football fans more than they could have hoped for, ever. What a joy to watch...a blessing to call our own. I stand in awe of him. I have said in other blogs that it is not just what Brett Favre does on the football field that makes him a great hero. He truly is what you see and what you get. I love that he's going out on his own terms--on top. May whatever he sees in the rearview mirror bring a smile and whatever he sees through the front windshield be joyful. He deserves a rich, blessed retirement.

I have a feeling these weepy tears that are sneaking up on me will continue for awhile. I'm tough...I'll get through the disappointment just like the rest of the Packer Nation has to do. However, Brett Favre carved out a piece of everyone's heart with his emotional, wild, brilliant, crazy, fun antics as a Green Bay Packer. It's not likely that we are going to forget these years, ever. In fact, some of my coworkers have never really known another Packer quarterback. Wow. On Tuesday one of the guys at work walked in with his #4 Atlanta jersey on. Another coworker complimented him on his attire. The guy with the jersey said, "Dude! I laid in bed all day watching ESPN!" On my way to work on Tuesday night, a guy pulled up next to me at a stoplight. I looked over at him, and knew he noticed my Packer license plate. His look said, "I'm so sorry, you must be hurting a great deal right now. Me too." I have to guess that my look back said, "I know. What are ya gonna do?" I'm not sure people who don't live here understand all of this, but that's okay. Call us crazy.

It's tough to say goodbye to Brett Favre, Iron Man. If I was allowed one minute to tell him anything I wanted to, I don't know what I'd say. "Thank you" is the only thing that comes to mind. Anything I might come up with would be inadequate to express the great emotion I feel about his role in our community, the Packer organization, my life. He remains my hero. I would want to assure him that his records aren't what people will remember about him. The fun he brought to the game of football is hard to describe, impossible to replace. He is one of a kind. I take my hat off to him for the great career and wish him, Deanna, and their families a wealth of love and happiness. Thank you for allowing us to laugh with you, cry with you, cheer with you. We will applaud your place in our history forever. Goodbye, Brett. You will be missed at Lambeau, but not forgotten.

We Love Brett Favre

Thanks to southernmiss2010 for this oldie but goodie tribute... There's nothing more I can think of to say right now. I'm very sad.

What I've Found

My days are tiring. Struggling to make ends meets is just hard on a person. What I've always known, and recently again found to be the truly important thing in life is this: You have to find something every single day to smile about. You have to be happy with your surroundings, your interests, your loves.

And this is the part where I could lose two of my three readers... One of the "funnest" things I do is watch American Idol. I know it's a little over the top. I know it can get pretty stupid. But I like it, ya know? (It fills up that time while we're all waiting to find out what Brett's gonna do about being a Packer)!! I went all crazy for Taylor Hicks early on and derived great, monumental satisfaction when he won the whole damn thing. Since then, I've watched with a certain detachment. It's just too draining to put so much of yourself into another person's success. I don't regret the hours I dialed relentlessly; I'm just not doing it again.

Having said that, I gotta say this. I watched all of the auditions, and watched this first week of the Top 24. It took a few days for this epiphany to set in, but there's an amazing young talent in this year's pool. He completely escaped my radar through Hollywood Week! Enjoy, if you will, the Texas boy who has given me my smile today. He's a dark horse in the competition, but he's a worthy contender, and I believe he is going to be shining in the weeks to come.

Course, maybe I'm just lost in a daydream....but what a day to be Jason Castro starring as the dayyyyyyyyy dreamin' boyyyyyyyyy!