"Callie Elizabeth"

"Callie Elizabeth." He crowed it over and over as we prepared for the Saturday night crowd. I heard him tell the hostess. Then I heard him tell the salad maker. Then, when I was ducking into the storeroom for a pad of paper, he said it to me: "Callie Elizabeth." On cue, I asked who that was. "My new cousin's name," he beamed. I smiled and nodded, trying to be excited for him, but babies aren't my thing. And hearing the story five more times before I could disappear into the abyss of diners made it that much more annoying.

Gary (*not his real name) reminds me of Dustin Hoffman in Rain Man when he keeps spouting, "Wopner at 4, Wopner at 4!" When his mother vacationed in Hawaii, God forbid an hour went by without us hearing that his mother was in Hawaii with her new husband. I feel obligated to appease the child in him that wants the attention of his big news. And I usually give him the questions he hopes the person who landed within conversation distance will ask of him. He can yammer on with little encouragement, and I know that work is the highlight of his day. What's the harm of listening to him while I chop lettuce or fill bowls with individual creamers?

But there's another side to this childish creature who has found a niche in our kitchen. When it's his turn to close, he will lock the back door early, ON PURPOSE, just so he can tell us waitresses that he's locked it and we'll need to exit through the lobby. And he shuts the lights off before we are done in the dining room only because he sees there's no customers left, therefore, no reason for the lights to be on. We routinely go back over and turn on some overhead dimmer switches so we can finish our work out there. He loves to be in charge! He's earnest about it. It is a responsibility with his name in capital letters. He savors the moment when he can walk out to the bar and tell the bartenders that the kitchen is closed--no more pizzas or bar chicken.

Yep, he's smug about his minor authority. And lest anyone feel sorry for the big kid who has a slight mental handicap, behold the following air of egotism!! On a night that was particularly busy and ragged, one of the owners (who is also the head chef) made sure he let everyone know what a great job they had done through the course of the evening. Gary stopped to chat with the owner who was relaxing with a beer at the bar. As Gary walked away, the owner said, "Hey, by the way, you did a great job tonight!" Without skipping a beat, Gary turned to look at the owner and said, "Yeah, I know."

Oh man. You gotta love a kid like that, huh? Just one of the cast of characters I meet up when I walk through the door and behind the curtain of what really happens where your food is prepared. "Callie Elizabeth." I heard it all over the kitchen tonight. If anyone left without knowing this kid has a new cousin they just weren't paying attention. I hope I don't have any dreams about this Callie kid tonight.