Dinner... and a Blog

Wow! This kind of stuff doesn't happen where I live. I mean, it's not like we are uninhabited here, but we don't get these kind of women where I work. Well, at least I'd never seen one like her until the other night. Up until now, the best giggle we've had was the transvestite who came in and used the women's restroom.

The story begins last week when a pretty 40-ish blond came in alone. She was sat in my section and ordered a steak. Unlike most people who come in sans company, she took her time over dinner and lingered with a cup of coffee after her meal. When I tried to deliver her check to her, the two gentlemen at the table next to her almost tackled me for the book which held her total. I relinquished the tab to them, handed the woman her mint, and said quietly, "The gentleman at that table picked up your dinner."

She joined them over a cup of coffee, freeing up my table so I busied myself with my other customers. I thought it was a sweet gesture for someone to pick up a pretty lady's dinner check. We do occasionally witness these kind acts, so no big deal.

No big deal, that is, until the other night. I was the closing server and the night seemed to be winding down early. My hostess dashed my hopes of an early out when she told me there was a 2-top in the bar who still wanted to eat. Oh well, it's all part of the business. It still sucks when you haven't had a table for an hour and the late lingering types meander in ten minutes before closing.

After my hostess told me about the two at the bar, another waitress informed me of the bad news. After she told me, a bartender who was in the kitchen told me yet again that I'd be getting a table. I snapped, "You are the third person who's told me that. Thanks!" Trying to smooth the waters, she launched into the interesting story behind the diners who were coming in. Seems a man and a woman who were sitting several bar stools apart began talking, then hitting it off. Apparently, HE insisted that she let him buy her dinner in the dining room. (We serve a nice array of food in the bar too, but not the pricey stuff of the dining room menu). After Nina told me the story of the late twosome, I rolled my eyes and made a face.

The man came into the dining room first. He insisted the hostess put him at the table next to the one she had chosen. "Sure, no problem," she cooed through an irritated grimace. I poured water for both places and asked the man if I could get him anything to drink while he waited for his dinner partner. He declined and said she'd be right in, she'd just stopped at the restroom. Very good. I left the empty dining room and waited in the kitchen.

When SHE walked in, my eyebrows went up. The SHE was the same woman from last week who had gotten her dinner bought from a man she'd just met and started talking to during her evening out. I see a pattern developing here. I'm not saying I'm blind to how women use their femininity to get things from men, nor am I naive enough to think that this is the highest degree of deception that women will use to get what they want from men. But this is not the stuff of my work atmosphere. In twelve years, this is the brashest form of using I've witnessed by a woman. As I like to say, she's a real piece of art. (Work of art + Piece of work = piece of art)! ;)

After five minutes of peeking through the kitchen window, they finally looked ready to order. The man, who I dubbed "the cheeseball" because of his dorky ways and slight lisp, coupled with his overly sure demeanor that was totally fake, ordered first. (Way to be a gentleman and show your manners). After writing down his choices, I turned to the vixen and asked sweetly, "And what would you like tonight?" To my astonishment, she answered smoothly, "Well, I came up here on a mission tonight. [big pause] I'll have the lobster."

Now folks, my reaction (inside) was the stuff of jaw-dropping awe. The last time anything made me stop in my tracks like that was my first visit to Lambeau Field, and that was a long time ago. I'm quick on my feet and have a comeback for almost any insult, awkward situation, or moment in need of levity. This floored me. However, I simply smiled and asked calmly, "Would you like the large or small lobster?" Her answer of a small lobster tail was only a little redeeming. She was here on a mission, after all.

Whew. I gotta tell ya. It was hard to wait on those two diners. He talked a whole bunch more than her, and she sat blithely letting him ramble. They stayed a long time, him chattering while she smirked effortlessly at him. When they'd finished and had a glass of wine, they realized they may be keeping me. I was polite, told them to take their time, but they were kind enough to ask for the check, saying they'd go back to the bar. He left a great tip--I'm sure that was part of the impressing her scheme. I don't really care why he did it, I'm just glad he did.

I guess in the end everyone was happy. I got a great tip (maybe she did too?) and she got a tail (and maybe he did too?)!