Cracking Up!

I went to do a few errands last night. When I got to the corner, where there's a big house, there were a bunch of kids playing in the open yard. Only a few trees and bushes inhabit this yard. I looked to my left to see almost all of the children running toward the corner. One girl hid behind a bush closer to the house. As my gaze went from the frolicking kids to her in her hiding spot, she looked at me with big eyes and put her finger to her closed lips. I guess she thought my knowledge of her whereabouts was a threat! It tickled me all the way to the store that her instinct told her to keep her cover and warn passersby not to give up her stellar spot where nobody would find her!

I'm also cracking up over MM (Maintenance Man/Married Man). What a jackass. He took my dryer from the basement last night. Mind you, I was home with the tv on and open windows. There were lights on, and he walked past my garage and had to have seen my car in there. Did he come up and tell me when I could expect a new dryer? No, he did not. Hell hath no fury like Little Man Rejected. I considered calling him and being civil to ask when I'd be getting a new dryer, and to show him how modern humanity works, then decided that I wouldn't want to waste my time on such a puny person.

This morning my downstairs neighbor called me to vent. MM is coming over tomorrow to power wash the basements. Apparently, he was planning on using muriatic acid to clean up the bacteria and mold down there. Since he needed to use my neighbor's basement to take my dryer out, he talked to her. It was in this passing conversation that he mentioned the overkill of his plans for our basements. Clearly, a simple bleach solution is all that is needed. The downstairs neighbor (DN) has respiratory issues, so this announcement obviously concerned her. Upon my recommendation, she researched the properties and pitfalls of muriatic acid. Turns out, this could be pretty deadly to her compromised lungs.

DN called the landlord, knowing that calling cranky-ass MM would not be fruitful. Unfortunately, the landlord is in Iowa providing disaster relief so he asked DN to call the blustery one with directives from the landlord to use bleach. My DN did just that, only to get a tirade of reasons that muriatic acid is okay to use. (He doesn't even don a mask when he uses it)! Whoopity-Doo! All that proves is that he's a dumbass. DN was very polite and tried to deflect the blame on herself, yet she still got a deluge of comments made to make her feel like she was stupid. In the end, he finally just said, "Whatever," and hung up on her.

Why I am cracking up over this? Well, "Mister Idiot/My Brain Quit Developing When I Was Eight Years-Old" has pissed me off, and I am working on getting him his just desserts. He will soon learn that you reap what you sow. Yes, I am going to become the snivelly tattle-tale he will abhor. And just to set the record straight, this has little to do with the married and dating part of who he is, and everything to do with his ill behavior as the maintenance man in a house he gets paid to fix. When he came through the shared entry way last night with his own keys, helped himself to my basement, then went out the other basement exit, he neglected to lock the shared entry way upon his departure. This entrance has a shared hallway that leads directly into each of our living rooms. I understand we aren't living in downtown Milwaukee, but there is a certain expectation that you will leave locked doors locked, and notify the residents when you are coming into their living spaces. I would venture to guess that my landlord will not take kindly to his residents complaining about his maintenance man's poor behavior.

I just have to laugh at MM's inept social skills. The man possesses not an ounce of couth. There's a lot of water here causing damage. In MM's case, it's going to be hot water.